My journal from last Monday reads: "Lord, please test, sharpen and refine me for your glory. I am yours." A scary prayer...if it wasn't to the lover of my soul. But he cares for me with more passion than any human ever could. So, I'd say with any prayer, I'm safe.
The very next night, I was up all night in the bathroom. I had to stay home from work on Wednesday and was up all that night as well, fainting each time after I used the bathroom. Some kind of bacteria had got into my system and it took all my energy for my body to fight it. Stuck in the bed for 3 days, I was really discouraged. So much work needed to be done in the community center I couldn't even walk outside without feeling exhausted. I trusted God, but it took me several days to understand fully why he allowed this.
Just before I got sick on Tuesday, I read "You are a hiding place for me, you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance!" Psalm 32:7
On Saturday morning, I experienced complete brokenness in my bed. I was listening to a song about how much Jesus loves me when He shook me out of my self pity. He overwhelmed me with my purpose here on earth- TO LOVE HIM. That's it. That's all he wants. My heart was weary from trying so hard to seek him and the whole time, he was right in front of me, hanging on the cross. Bleeding for me. Once you discover your purpose like I did, there's nothing to do but sit in his presence. All you can do is soak up his love- which never stops flowing.
This is why he planned for me to get sick... to be awakened again to his love and my purpose. Things were starting to creep back into my heart again- fears, selfish desires and idols. He LOVES me too much to let me live with those. I can say with confidence now, I do not want anything. I have all I've ever dreamed of with him. This is waaaaay more than enough to fill every place in my heart and more!
You wouldn't believe all the other prayers he's answered!!!
I was praying really hard on Saturday for my friend who wants God, but her husband strictly forbid her to stay away from Christians. Guess wah?! Her husband miraculously (so out of his character) let her come to our church on Sunday! God is doing a new thing in her! He's also giving me more opportunities to talk with them both, praise him!
Yesterday, we had TONS of people attend all of our classes in Oasis (community center). God went way beyond what we asked him to do as far as bringing people goes! More than 30 kids in a class that was designed for 15 ha!
Another huge thing he did... I could hardly walk a few blocks on Sunday without losing all of my energy, and I was supposed to teach classes from 10am-7pm on Monday. I didn't know how I was going to do it...I was completely helpless, but I knew God would do something for me. So yesterday I taught my adults english class, 9th grade science, another adults english, and an english conversation class. By God's strength, I made it the entire day! I had barely lasted a few hours in church the day before... and then he got me through 9 hours of standing and teaching. What a God we have!!!
As you can see, God really does care about what we ask him for! I daily rely on your prayers. Please keep them coming when you can. Thank you all so much!
Please pray:
- God will continue transforming us to show Jesus to these people
- He will give us more opportunities to speak his name and be his hands
- He will give us all engery (especially my weak body) to do everything for his glory and not for men
- The Spirit will continue drawing people into church (we had 2 visitors on Sunday!)
- for my friends (a few adults) who don't know him yet
No comments:
Post a Comment