He's Extravagant.

A few weeks ago I was having demonic nightmares each night and confused why God didn't take them away for me. With the ache in my gut that grows more each day to be with my kids in Mexico and the slow support raising, I let it get to me.  I spent almost an entire week feeling bits of hope slip away from me. I was thirsty and really wanting to hear from God. I asked in Jesus' name and didn't know what else to do. 

It wasn't anything I did to deserve to hear his voice. It was his own love that moved him. The one he loves needed hope. That and just my desperation. Like the woman in the Bible who had been bleeding for 12 years. She's able to push through crowds of people to just barely touch the hem of Jesus' garment. "Who touched me?" he says. His love and our desperation moves him.

Being God, he likes to surprise us and answer us in unexpected ways. So the Saturday after that hard week, I got invited to hear a random speaker at some random little church out in Jasper. I went and encountered the one my heart needs there. 

I was told to get Judy to pray for me there. I found this sweet Southern stranger and began to hear from God as she prayed for me. She couldn't stop shaking as she said, "I don't think you know how much he's in love with you!" The Holy Spirit told her several things to pray over me. Prayers from the depths of my heart that I had been asking Jesus for in desperation. I think we forget a lot that he sits at the Father's right hand and is continually praying and groaning for us- that his Papa may work all things to our good and pour out his love for us. 

After Judy prayed, God got another woman to pray for me. And then a young girl. And then as we were worshiping, their pastor prayed over me. Through each person's prayers, God filled my heart with way more HOPE than I had asked for! He tends to do that. It's just his nature to be extravagant in his giving. 

The next morning at church, I was still overwhelmed by how he had spoken and blessed me the night before. The sermon that day was on the Prodigal son and the extravagant love of his Father. After the sermon, there was a call if anyone wanted prayer to go to the front. I thought, I just got so blessed last night, there's no reason I should get more prayer today. And God said, But I'm EXTRAVAGANT. Let me do this again Allie ;) 

So I went to the front and received prayer from a lady I had never met. And again, I was so overwhelmed by how much God knows and cares about the depths of my heart, I couldn't stop crying.  I'm telling you- God loves to give good things to his kids! He loves it! 

So, the story continues...

The next day. Now this has happened the past 2 days- Saturday and Sunday. So as I entered this revival group that I go to on Monday nights I thought, I expect to encounter Jesus here, but there's no reason he should speak to me so powerfully for the third day in a row. We began worship. As we're singing, a girl (that I had never met from Indiana) comes up to me and tells me the sweetest vision that Jesus gave her about him coming to me. I couldn't help but laugh! He is ridiculous! Like he never gets tired of giving! And it is absolutely nothing that I have done to deserve any of this! It's just how he is. 

Through these times of hearing from him, he is strengthening my heart in the sweeeeeeeetest way that only he can do. I cannot go to Mexico until he has prepared me. I can't go without him. I don't want to go unless he calls me. I need him and his power. 

In Jesus' last words to his disciples before he ascends into heaven, he says, "And behold, I am sending the promise of my Father upon you. But stay in the city until you are clothed with power from on high." Luke 24:49 He showed me this verse as I was looking over Birmingham today, wondering how much longer he will have me in this city. Ha! He will never stop marveling me! 

Jesus is so alive it's crazy.